In my last post (which was six weeks ago, don't hurt me!) I wrote about my 30 pound blues. They are a very real thing and to top it all off my life has sort of taken a nose dive in the last 3 weeks which hasn't exactly helped. I wish I could say I'm one of those people who handles emotional situations like a logical, steady pro. But I'm not. I'm sooo not. I cried. I yelled. I ate. And I didn't even feel bad about that last part. Not one bit. To be honest, I still don't feel bad about it. But that may or may not have to do with the good news I got from my scale this morning.
I can honestly say I haven't gone crazy (well at least not with food). And that probably has a lot to do with the giant flux my life is in right now. When you're unemployed and trying to move and worrying about how you're going to pay your bills you don't exactly have the extra cash to splurge on junk food. Which is good! I'm actually really proud of myself for having the self respect to not go out and waste my precious pennies on junk food that will hurt my body AND my wallet.
Anyway, none of that has to do with the title of my post today. Body positivity. To those of you who know me well its no secret that I'm very self-conscious about my body. I've improved some over the years by being brave enough to venture out in sleeveless shirts, a peasant skirt here and there, and most recently maxi dresses. But a few months ago my sister sent me a message on Facebook with a link to a blog. The Militant Baker. I tried to find it for you guys but apparently my sister and I talk on Facebook. A lot. Her message said something like "this made me think of you". When I saw the title of the blog I was like, score! Recipes! That I can test out and put on my blog! There may even have been some fistpumping action. I can't recall.
Much to my disappointment it wasn't about recipes at all. I couldn't even tell you today why that is the title of her blog because I have never been able to find a single recipe there. But that turned out to be a very good thing. I learn so many new ways to think about and love my body through her blog. I follow her on Facebook now and love to see the new things she posts. I know that I will never read something from her that doesn't challenge me to think and be better. Because body positivity isn't just about loving your own body but loving everyone's body. Or at least allowing them to love themselves fully.
It means that if I don't want a thin person telling me I need to lose weight because they don't like the way I look then a thin person doesn't need me telling them to eat a cheeseburger because I don't like the way they look. It's none of my business what size they are or what they eat or wear or how they dress. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. And everyone should be made to feel beautiful. It's a lot easier said than done, obviously. But it can and should be done.
Once we move away from the idea that only skinny is beautiful and only skinny is healthy we can stop forcing ourselves to look and be a certain way and just be us. Be you. Love you. Every fat roll and love handle and flabby arm. Love the cowlick that won't let you wear your hair a certain way and the scar that runs through your eyebrow and the birthmark on your elbow. These things make up you. You are the only you on the planet and you are special. You deserve to be loved for who you are and nothing more. Every day.
So thank you to Jess at the Militant Baker and the way she has totally changed my life. The courage and power she has given me to make so many positive changes to repair myself from the inside out. I'm firmly set on a path to love myself no matter my size. Because losing weight isn't about being a certain size it is about feeling healthy and happy and loving who you are right now.